confessions of a social media whore!

(i am taking the time off writing an entry about my fabulous and jealousy-inducing life and lifestyle to give way to this letter from a desperate yet still young social media whore. please read, weep and learn!)

dear mahatma gandah,

first of all i hope i spelled your name right. i am a poor speller, as you will note later on.

i am desperate. i really need your help. i am a social media "addict" (a word i prefer over "whore.")

you see, i can't help but take photos of myself and my friends and post them on facebook and instagram, even if we were just polishing our nails, having our hair done at the salon in beverly hills, or even just shopping for ice cream at s&r (which, according to my mom, has lately become the favourite hang out of social climbers and she asked me therefore not to go there anymore. or else).

even if we were just having coffee at the lobby of the shangri-la hotel, my friends and i can't fight this strong compulsion to take a photo with matching facial expressions and then publish them on social networks right away. like this second.

lately, i am also feeling bad, like really, really bad, you know what i mean, every time i see photos of my facebook friends (there are millions of them, by the way. what can i say, i am like super popular) who were having a grand time in crete, paris, venice, and stockholm while i was stuck in the filthy, flood-prone, and battling against the holiday-induced horrible traffic in third-world manille. ekk!

because i don't have a job yet (i am still trying to finish college at one of the ivy leagues here in new york) and therefore didn't have my own money yet, i felt helpless, trapped, victimized, scorned because i simply couldn't keep up and even just match the lifestyles of most of my facebook friends whose politician parents back home shower them with lots and lots and lots of money. 

mind you, we are not poor. but my parents are simply strict about giving me generous allowance. they want me to like work for money. isn't it sad? what are they going to do with those billions that they have stolen from the government?! let them rot in secret accounts in offshore banks? what do they want me to do, run for kagawad in our exclusive village whose guards are so strict they won't allow a lowly city mayor to exit at one of the gates after ten in the evening?! 

hmp. how sad is that? running for public office just so i can sustain my lifestyle!!

anyway, another thing that i noticed about myself most recently. every time i am on vacation, like with my family and even friends, which is like often, i could no longer enjoy the places, cities, restaurants, sceneries (even a sunset that used to take my breath away) because i am obsessed about finding the right spot, wearing the perfect outfit for photos that i could post on my facebook accounts and instragrams. yes, you read it right. they're plural. i have several facebook and ig accounts. 

my mother, who doesn't even know how to use an iphone (how pathetic noh?), always scolds me for posting millions of photos online. she's like, why?! and i am like, why not?! she also nags me for misspelling words and using a lot of hashtags, even on my assignments and research reports at school that she insists on seeing and reading first before i submit them to my professors.

i am like mom! a hashtag is just a symbol of our generation, just as yours are those horrible madonna outfits, shoulder pads and scary dos! hashtags are like totally harmless! hello!!

anyway, because i can't help myself from living on facebook and ig -- ( i am like online 24/7 a day. i barely sleep. i can't stand being inside the classroom because our expensive ivy league university prohibits the use smartphones, ipads, tablets, iphone while those boring lectures are going on. how sad! i can like not believe this.) -- my mother is threatening me that she will stop sending my allowance, which is not really much, cut me off from her and my dad's will, and worse, she wants to send me to this rehabilitation place for social media addicts in china. afraid!! 

what can i do?

thank you.

yours truly and always,

marcheska tubataha

&&&&&&&&&&&

dear marcheska,

thank you for your thoughtful letter. my only advice is, "get a freaking life, girl!"

seriously.

having said that, let me share my observations about out social media behavior. this is not a criticism, mind you. i am a democrat and a freedom advocate. i always respect a person's right to express himself in what ever form he wants as long as he doesn't harm others. as they say, kanya kanyang trip lang yan.

but...

- i don't understand why people have to take photos of food and drinks. some even asks me not to touch the food unless they have taken a photo of it. i mean, hello. we aren't exactly children here. and you are not the only one paying for the bill! and even if you are, it's simply too tacky. i hope people will stop doing this. taking food photos and posting them instantly on facebook or ig, or whatever!!

anyway, our friends already know that we can afford to eat at super sosi restaurants. so why bother?!

-why do people have to take photos of themselves and their friends even if they're just having their regular coffee at starbucks or shopping at the divine divi (short for divisoria) and post them on facebook or ig. why? who's interested on what they are doing and where they are hanging out or shopping? 

-why do they go on vacation only to take selfies and post on facebook and ig instantly. (i guess you are guilty of this, marcheska tubataha).  

i mean, you are on vacation for f's sake. you're spending good money on it. so enjoy it. relax. unplug. forget about taking pictures. forget about facebook and ig. traveling and taking a vacation is something very personal. you have to experience it. you have to be there in that city or barrio or beach or mountain wholeheartedly and not be distracted by what will look good on facebook and ig!

if you really need to post them on ig or facebook, do it after you return home so you won't spoil your vacation. but please limit the number of photos that you post online so as not to annoy your friends. i won't give a number. it's up to you. remember, in everything that you do, always edit, edit, edit. remember edith wharton? need i say more?

that's why i admire people who travel often but rarely post photos of their vacations on facebook or ig. and when they do, they do it very selectively. one or two or three photos at the most. that, in my book, is really classy!! i even love them more if they don't have facebook and ig. chos! 

-people who asks question like where was this taken? when you've already said in bold capital letters on your post: HAVING A BLAST IN ONE PARK AVENUE, NEW YORK, NEW YORK, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

or are you there right now? when you made it clear that you're on your second day in new york of a five-week holiday.

or who is with you? when you already mentioned that you are with your boyfriend. you even posted thousands of your photos together.

or comments like: i was there a few weeks ago, too bad we did not see each other. it's like the commenter just wants to announce to the whole world that he too is a world weary traveller just like his friend. chos!

- last but not the least, the 'like" button addicts. even if your post is about calamities, the death of a friend, love one or a beloved pet, or other accidents like a hold-up. they will still "like" it. i don't know if they like that something bad has happened to you. haha.

&&&&&&&&&&

i hope this will help you assess your life little sisterette. you're still young. there's plenty of time to change and reassess your life. no chos this time!

yes, i suggest you submit yourself to a rehab before your mom cuts off your allowance or worse, get your name out of the will. trust me, it's not going to be easy, but  you can do it.

here's the first step: delete your facebook and ig accounts. now na!

xoxo,

mahatma gandah

(ps: i edited your letter for brevity, spelling, grammar, punctuations and removal of numerous hashtags. also, are you really studying in an ivy league school?!)

note: photo above was taken from the internet. no copyright infringement intended. please inform me if you want it taken off. thank you.