quick reviews: runner runner & don jon

make no mistake about it. i like watching movies, but sometimes some are just too bad that i would rather stick to reading a book.
take the case of runner runner and don jon, two of the most promising movies starring three of hollywood's hottest leading men. (well, at least according to their press releases.)
but sadly, both are huge disappointments.

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take runner runner for instance. starring two of hollywood's ham actors (from here on, i will stop calling them actors. it's an insult to nemo and other underrated stars at disney) --  ben affleck and justine timberlake (didn't you notice how their last names rhyme?!) -- in another take on casino gambling slash thriller slash action splash with a bit of drama. at least ben has strong, magnetic presence on screen (read: at least he looks like a movie star), but justine? argh. he's not handsome enough to be a movie star, not talented enough to be an actor.
so i wonder why producers keep giving him projects. or is he producing his own movies? or is he paying producers to get him to star in them?
my advice to justine? retire. movies are not for you. have pity on the audience.
on the movie, my advice is -- run as far away and as fast as you can from it. 
there are better things in life than wasting more than an hour of your life watching this stupid crap!

here's the trailer, if you care:

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i really wanted to like and even fall in love with don jon. after all, it's the first directorial job of joseph gordon-levitt, the adorable leading man to zooey deschanel's summer in the divine five hundred days of summer, which breathes a fresh life and injects some intelligence on the tired, formulaic and much abused romcoms (romantic comedies for the uninitiated).
what more, joseph also wrote the script. so why not?!
but sadly, his biceps, dimples, naughty eyes, abs, magnetic screen presence and even some masturbation scenes, did not make the movie interesting even for a bit. not even the presence of the luminous and ethereal julianne moore can save this brainless disaster.
it's supposed to be a comedy, but it's so devoid of humour that i wanted to die just after watching its first ten minutes. it's too painful to see gorgeous joseph waste whatever acting talent that he has on this vanity project. he should just leave scriptwriting and directing to ben affleck. (see? i like ben. but not (as an actor) when he is performing in front of the camera.)

never mind scarlett johansson. she does little in this more than an hour exercise in futility except to look delectable like a plump papaya that's ready for the picking one hot summer afternoon.
what's the movie about?
it's about a ladies man, jon, a bar tender, who enjoys watching and jerking off on porn than having sex. big deal, right? but this movie thinks it is.
my verdict? avoid at whatever cost, unless you want to end up broken hearted like those ladies who had a one night stand with don jon. only to end up regretting having slept with a dud. duh!

here's the trailer, if you care: