the reverse darwinian evolution - from innocent barrio lass, to fabulous city gurl and finally to a worldly whale

at a recent gathering of very very close friends and frenemies (mere friends are not invited. chos!), someone dear who had not seen me for several years remarked rather out of the blue about my huge belly  after i gobbled up a kilo of lechon, five cups of rice and bottles of beer ("you look like twenty months pregnant!') and my weight gain. i just gave her my monalisa smile. what else can i say? i luv her and i am used to it already.
since i arrived in manille several weeks ago (i can't remember exactly anymore. i am on vacation so i forget about the seconds, hours, days and weeks that pass by), i have gotten used to this "you are so fat" comment. some are vile, others are amused and most of the time plain horrendous.
welcome to the third world manille, where people think it's alright to quip innocently about someone's weight gain, or making a big deal about it (it's totally fine if you are my friend. haha).
but unlike anne hathaway who was touchy about the subject, i would rather talk about it head on. i am fat because i luv to eat and drink. life is short, so the cliche goes, and i want to enjoy my brief stay on this planet as much as possible!
too, i am lazy. i hate all sorts of sports and going to the gym. my favourite activity is to lie in bed and read a book. or spread like a cat on the sofa to watch movies on blue ray.

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in fact, as soon as my plane landed at the airport, a bunch of paparazzi already snapped pictures of the disheveled, whale like me and those photos landed on the front page of all newspapers and tabloids the next day! one of the  headlines said- "from gorgeous princess of manille to the queen of whales!" - as if my weight gain will have an impact on the global stock, bond, commodity and currency markets. as if that will encourage president obama, the imf, world bank, european union  and the powerful and wealthy germany to hasten the implementation of fiscal and monetary measures to resolve once and for all the european credit crisis, which has dragged on for years.
at least, a few banker friends were more tactful - "you look more prosperous." but the voice and the way they said those immortal words was something else. never mind. i will exact my revenge on them some day. tataba rin kayo.
with all these  not so sweet and downright acerbic and sometimes insulting comments, you would think i would rush to the nearest belo clinique and have an operation to remove the excess fats not just on my belly, or enroll in fitness first.
but sorry to disappoint you, dahlins, i am luving the new me. surprised? don't be. i have always been stubborn and hard headed. if people (friends, fans, producers, the media) think that i am fat, ugly and unattractive, so be it.

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seriously, i am not offended by these comments. i am more amused than piqued. at this point of my dull, uneventful but totally zen life, it will take more than that to make me even a bit annoyed.

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i have not always been this heavy. there was a time, a long, long ago, when i was as skinny as the next starving, striving supermodel in paris or milan. in fact, i was so light and razor thin that people thought i was anorexic and bulimic at the same time.

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if you care, the following are my pbotos through the years. keep them, they will be priceless in the future once i ascend into my queenhood. hahaha.

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that's all skinny cats!
have a great weekend ahead. don't eat and drink too much beer if you don't want to be subjected to a lot of derision. chos.

(the last photo depicting my final evolution was taken from the internet. no copyright infringement intended. so please don't sue the fabulously fat me.)