sailing

(warning - heavy cliches ahead. fasten your seatbelt, this is going to be a bumpy ride!)



in a month or so, a new journey begins. i don't know yet where the stars will lead me. but i am open to all possibilities. i'll be a stone in the river, going with the flow - easy, gentle, smooth and with a little prayer in my heart. i am not religious, i am spiritual. i believe in god, or a higher being out there, benevolent, forgiving, loving, just, whose steady hand is ready to catch me if i fall.

@@@@@@@

no, experience does not teach us anything - it just makes us stronger. it's the oil that keeps the wheel rolling, the fuel that keeps the fire burning. along with faith. faith that someday, everything will fall into place and the stars will be well aligned. i no longer  have any ill wishes for those who have wronged me. i choose forgiveness. i choose to travel light. of course they will pay for their ill doings, but it's not up to me. somewhere, someday, we will all get what we deserve.
i am ready for what's in store for me.

&&&&&&

when we are hurt we say things we don't mean. we do things we later regret.
at forty three, i have learned to control my words, to keep my mouth shut before i say something that i might later regret. but there is only so much abuse, insults that this princess can take. i can't be ms congeniality all the time. i can't maintain my regal bearing all the time.  after all princesses are humans too, regardless of the colour of their blood.
and so i said some things that i don't really mean. mean words that should have not been spoken. i feel sorry for saying them, but i don't regret them. what is done is done.
and so i move on.


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i can almost hear the nuns at my former school asking: "so elpidio what have you learned from all of these?"
as usual, i will just give them my knowing, monalisa smile.
my lips are sealed.
let's wait and see what lies ahead.
the jury is still out there, so to speak.

$$$$$$$$

my fairy godmother has not given me any signs yet on what will happen next. on where our next journey will be. will it be in the land that hardly rains? or in the place where lovers fulfill their dreams of contended bliss? or somewhere far, far away from the galaxy that even the most powerful satellite can't reach us? (the number you are calling cannot be reached, because it's not a number but a series of graphics that someone has invented!)
sad to say, the fairy godmother is still being held hostage by my hostile, feisty, insecure step sisters.
when will you be back to help this pretty cinderella find her rightful place in the universe?
i hope you come sooner, god knows i don't want to be rescued by another prince who will turn into a tadpole after we kiss under the moon - rude, uncouth, uncivilised, barbaric and god knows has not heard yet of deodorants or even basic hygiene.

********

i am rambling.
forgive me.
i am still trying to gather my composure.
as doctors would say after someone just got into an unfortunate accident, i am still in a state of shock.

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but i am maintaining my sunny disposition. a little optimism, a silent prayer and faith that everything will be alright in the end. it always does.
after all, i am still  a princess. the queen mother's daughter.

^^^^^^^^^

it's still four more weeks - but this early, i am already excited for the next adventure, louboutins, tiara, long, gorgeous michael cinco gowns in tow.

&&&&&&&

that's all princesses, fairies, wannabes, bitches and witches!
wish me luck!
triple chos!!





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