how do you solve a problem like growing older?

lately, i have become even more forgetful. sometimes, i would even forget what i ate for lunch. most of the time, i just forget to have lunch. not because i am busy (though most of the time, i am), but simply because i forget all about it.
god knows how many times i have stood at the doorway of my former apartment building because i forgot the code at the main door. (good thing that in my present building, we have this card that serves as a key to the main door. no need to punch those codes that change every two to three weeks.)
i have also spent a lot of money to pay a professional locksmith to open the door at my flat simply because i forgot my keys inside.

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whoever said that growing older is fun must be joking. or totally delusional. no honey, age is not just a number. or a state of mind. it's a whole lot more.
it means having slower metabolism, so you gain weight easily. don't tell me i need to exercise or go to the gym, because as i grow older, i become even lazier. and gets bored easily as well. so please spare me that gym thing. or taking up sports. that's not my cup of tea. don't even start with that "eat right" crap because it doesn't work for me either.
it means losing your hair on the head, while the remaining ones are all turning grey.
it means not being updated on the latest fashion, music, celebrity, heart throbs and other very important things like showbiz gossip.
it means having less tolerance for kids, teen agers and the way they talk, dress, act, behave. gosh!
it means lines on the face, sleepiness, tardiness, slower mental processing of new information.
it means not being able to wear skinny jeans, white shirts, torn jeans.
it means not being able to dance all night at a favourite club.
it means having less patience about everything (especially know-it-all super arrogant dummies who are so pitifully unaware of it), being grumpy all the time, and the worst part, having difficulties getting up from bed in the morning.
it means not being able to date a much much younger guy lest i be accused of being a dof (dirty old fag), or worse a pedophile. hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
ahh the list is long and i  don't want to burden you with it.

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so how do you solve a problem like growing older?
pray tell me.