the perils of dating gorgeous men

“ i do not pick the wrong guys. they pick me.”
― candace bushnell, sex and the city

how do i loathe thee? let me count the ways....

there was a time, of course, when i was shallow (age has nothing to do with it, by the way, just so you know), stupid and attractive (i have a thirty-inch waistline, a perpetual tan, glowing skin even if i haven't slept for days, thick, black hair, and a quick wit that i honed from a finishing school in switzerland) and "dated" a number of really gorgeous guys. when i say gorgeous, they really are. you'll know why later. chos!

but dating gorgeous guys, while it has its benefits (the biggest of course is what it does to your self-confidence and ego), is not always a good thing. it also has its downside.

they usually bring out both the best and the worst in me. let me change that. most of the time, they bring out the monster in me.

like the following. read and learn.


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the green-eyed monster me.

i always feel like barbra streisand 's character in the way we were, kate morosky, the smart activist slash communist, the ugly-duckling who fell in love with robert redford's sporty hunk and gorgeous hubbell who is also an intellectual and a sensitive soul.

like kate to hubbell, i always feel like i don't deserve mr. dreamboat because i am too fugly. conversely, he doesn't deserve me because he deserves someone better, if not more gorgeous than him, then at least equally fabulous. i am always paranoid that sooner or later, he will realize this and he will leave me. scarred. sad. hurt.

that's how most troubles in my relationships have started. the insecurity. on my part.

one time, i was dating this former university heartthrob (a friend, who was his schoolmate, told me that he was a former mr. campus something and that girls chased him. the guy merely shrugged his gorgeous shoulders off when i asked him about it. in fairness, he felt embarrassed by that title and the adoration that he received. he thought he didn't deserve both.), girls would always approach our table when we were in a bar and flirt with him.

while i would usually keep quiet and just ignore the whole darn thing while the girl was still on our table, i would start a fight with him once we were alone. usually on our way home. while still inside a cab. a taxi driver even threw us out of his car once because we were so annoying. the driver didn't even bother to ask us to pay the fare. he was just too happy to be rid of us.

here's the thing. those fights would become physical. we were both young. and i wasn't raised a fairy by my military officer of a father. so we would exchange blows, kicks, and ended up really, really hurt.

now how's that for a bad romance?

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the fairy is also the funder.

because i am gay and not as fabulous as my boyfriends, people always assume that the guy is going out with me because of money. to be specific, my money. as if!

even some of my friends have this view that a guy would only go out with me because i would buy him things that he normally can't afford. like a brand new cellphone. or an expensive rubber shoes. hello, at my meager reporter's salary? i'm not exactly manny queenie who's probably sleeping on a billion dollar bed ordered directly from italy and handcrafted from the legs to the headboard! these remarks, while said in a jest, really wounded me. but i kept quiet. revenge is best served cold!

one time, i was with another fabulous model slash former international beauty titlist (he was a runner up in some international male beauty pageant held in puerto rico). we went to a spa for our monthly facials and body scrubs. yes, he was paying for them. he was earning more from his day job displaying his beautiful physique and handsome face on stage and in front of the camera, than i was writing thousands of business news a day.

anyway, when we entered the spa, there were like four female therapists who wanted to scrub his body and none was willing to do mine. luckily, some kind soul (an older woman) took pity on me and volunteered to be my therapist. while inside the spa and applying coffee on my whole body (it was a coffee scrub), she asked me if i were the manager of my then boyfriend. she assumed rightly that he was a model, and thought wrongly that i was his manager slash financier slash boyfriend.

"it must be very expensive to maintain a boyfriend like him," she said.

i just nodded my head and let her comments pass. but on our way out, i did not tip her.

an eye for an eye. or as my friend once said, don't get mad. get even.

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instant gorgeous. him.

it always makes me mad that he will spend just a few minutes to get ready for a date (he won't even use a mirror) while i spend hours putting on moisturizer, gel, changing outfits, styling my hair, examining myself in front of a huge mirror, and i would still end up looking like his body guard. it's just so totally unfair! while he would look like he just stepped out of a vanity fair photo shoot!

he's an effortless fabulous, while i have to spend so much time on it. isn't it sad?!

this happened to me all the time.

but after a while, i just accepted the fact that there was nothing more i could do to improve my looks except to resort to the magic of science. sadly, i could not afford those cosmetic enhancements.

so to stop the mental and emotional torture (and anguish), i broke up with him. after just three days!

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yes, ignore me. i'm not here.

another favourite scenario is this. we are in a bar or in a party and people would just come up to him, introduce themselves and they would have a lovely time. i would just stand there, not saying anything (i was raised a proper lady. it's rude to interrupt a conversation!), listening to their conversations, looking for ways to win back his attention, trying to hide the anger within. haha.

honestly, it happened to me a lot of times.

there was one particular flirty guy. he really couldn't help it. he would flirt with just anybody, even with an old granny who is dressed in a really short skirt and tight fitting blouson. every time we went out, i always ended up feeling more alone, while he was having a grand time talking, dancing, flirting with people - male, female, gay, young, old. it didn't matter.

when i pointed this out to him, he told me it wasn't his fault that i am anti-social! that i am a misanthropist.

"what do you want me to do? be snobbish like you and ignore people who try to make a conversation?" he said. "that's so rude."

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

so off we broke up after just three months of being together.

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what about you, fairies, witches, bitches, princesses, queens and wannabes? what do you hate most about dating a gorgeous adonis?!

(ps: i really want to stop dating gorgeous guys, but what can i do when they are the ones who are after me. like all the freaking time. does it sound like i am complaining? despite the problems that dating a gorgeous guy brings into my life, i love it!! what can i say? i am a masochist! hahahahaha.)

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song for the day: at seventeen.

note: photos above were taken from the internet. no copyright infringement intended. please inform me if you want them taken off. thank you.