fin

"after many a summer, dies the swan." -- aldous huxley.

to the one who got away:

first of all, i want to make it clear. i am not mad at you. nor do i feel bad about anything that you have or have not done for me. you'll always be a friend. in fact, i am writing this with nothing but joy in my heart knowing that i am setting you free.

yes, i am setting you free. i get the feeling that you have outgrown me and you just don't have the heart to say it. i am therefore making this decision for both of us.

let me apologize if i have not always been a good friend to you. for sometimes failing to appreciate you. i know i am not a good person, and a good friend. let me thank you then for being a friend. for being kind, thoughtful, nice, and always (well, almost always) hearing me out and understanding the complicated me. more complicated than you are.

having said that, i really thought that you'll always be there for me. especially at those times when i was quite down and feeling so out. there were times when i just needed someone to talk to, to listen to my boring litany of woes. but you were unreachable. too far away, literally and figuratively. sometimes, you even ignored my pms on facebook. (yes, i am cheap. calling long distance is too expensive!)

last weekend was probably the last straw. i really felt so bad then. i really needed a friend. among the people on my speed dial, i chose you. knowing that you would make time for me. what did i get in return? a very cold shoulder. colder than the antartica and the swiss alps combined. but it was my fault for expecting too much from a young man who is in a perpetual state of boyhood.

it was ok, by the way.  i got over it. with the help of the patron saint of the depressed -- san miguel. the beer maker should make me its poster girl because i swear it's so effective to soothe a wounded soul.

i hope i had always been there for you -- especially when you needed a friend. when you needed that extra push so you could achieve your dreams. i am happy, by the way, for what you have achieved so far. for what you have become.

i hope that you would appreciate the fact that even when i was so busy with deadlines to beat, feeling a bit blue because of a heartless and tyrant editor slash boss, and even if i had a job interview the next day, i made time for you. i even spent the night without much sleep just so you could talk to me when you felt so down and out in your own corner of the world.

but that's alright, that's what friends do.

lastly, friendship, just like any relationship, is a two-way street. nobody can just keep on taking. at some point, you should also learn how to give. in the future, for your sake, i hope you'll learn to also give. i know deep in my heart that you are capable of doing it.


enough said.

good luck.

& wish you all the best.

mahatma gandah.

&&&&&&&&&

"i never regret anything that i have done. only the things i didn't do." -- mahatma gandah.

song for the day: i wish you love.