a cop named c
so there i was. roaming around malate reminiscing about those nights when halloween was celebrated with much fanfare -- everybody walking around in costumes, especially the pink sisters who really made it a point (kinakarer in gay speak) to dress up fabulously for this special night -- as booths and kiosks selling different kinds of beers and foods, as well as fortune tellers in colorful dresses offering to see what's in store for you in the not so distant future using cards or the palm of your hands, competed for your attention and your limited pink peso.
but tonight, there was no party. there were no people dressed in halloween costumes.
in fact, there were very few people prowling the streets. there wasn't even any moon. it was a sad, lonely and depressing sight.
the once bohemian place full of artists (thriving and starving, it doesn't matter. they co-exist peacefully and happily), active and out-of-work theatre actors, published and rejected writers, poets, journalists, party animals, dreamers, carpetbaggers, is now abandoned, dilapidated, desolate. i wanted to cry as i terribly missed those glory days of youth when i hopped from one bar to another, made out with beautiful strangers, danced drunk either on the streets or in the bars. friends with everyone.
those were the days. i lamented for their passing, like a widow crying over her lover who perished at the sea one thunderous night never to be seen again. some said he had been bewitched, enchanted and then taken away by sea nymphs and mermaids.
&&&&&&&&&&
anyway, as i entered my old hunting place, a long lost friend called me. he looked familiar but for the life of me, i could not remember his name. after shaking hands, i finally found the courage to ask him (in a whisper so his friends won't hear us) his name. i told him i am poor with names. ano ka ba, he said. i am xxxxx. i used to sleep in your apartment in makati.
flushed, i managed to say, talaga? so he is now a seaman (no pun intended) and is currently in manille for a short visit. he works for a cruise ship that has brought him to europe, united states of obama, the middle east and around asia. he even showed me some photos on his ipad and iphone. (while he was showing me his photos, i started remembering him. how he looked like before. his performance. haha).
&&&&&&&&&&&&
he has not changed much, except that he gained a little weight and his used to be thick hair has been cropped military style. he still looks good for a thirty-something guy, married with two kids.
but i was interested with one of his friends. c. a cop. a new graduate from the police academy. this after he finished a four-year criminology course.
c is only twenty-two. tall, lean, brown. he has this serene, handsome face, very unlike a cop. while talking to him, i remembered takeshi kaneshiro's lovelorn rookie cop still in love with his ex girlfriend in wong kar wai's classic chungking express shown in nineteen ninety four. c has the same innocent, naive look. everything seemed fresh and interesting to him, like a little boy who just got inside a candy shop and then lost himself in the process.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
after a few pleasantries and introduction, i started grilling the shy and quiet c, while my old friend the sailor was busy entertaining his two other friends with his adventures in the sea.
why did you become a cop? aren't the police notorious for being corrupt and with ugly, huge belly? i thought he would be annoyed by my questions, but he took them kindly. he even welcomed them.
he said it has always been his dream to become a policeman. his father is a retired cop. while he is aware about the negative image of the policemen in the country, it did not stop him from fulfilling his childhood dream. anyway, he said he intends to tread the straight and narrow path.
"simple lang naman ang gusto ko," he said. "wala akong masyadong bisyo. hindi ako mahilig sa malaking bahay at kotse. itong cellphone ko luma na. walang dahilan para mangutong ako di ba. saka pinalaki kami ng maayos ng tatay ko ng hindi sya nangungurakot. nakatira kami sa isang iskwater, maliit ang bahay namin. nag trabaho ako para makapag-aral."
hmmm. just wait a few more years, i thought.
are you married? this he laughed. as if i tickled him.
"mukha ba akong may asawa?" my friend the sailor added: "binatang-binata yan. walang girlfriend. wala pang karanasan."
"baka boyfriend?" i asked.
they all laughed.
"walang magkagusto eh," c said. seriously.
why not? i thought. are the ladies blind?
as if reading my mind, c added: "maliit lang kasi ang sweldo ko eh. kaya ayoko pa magka-girlfriend. baka mapasubo pa ako. hindi ko pa kaya bumuhay ng pamilya."
"akala ko kung ano ang maliit," i said in jest.
"ikaw talaga!"then he added blushing: "malaki ito."
my turn to blush. chos!
i continued my interview.
what's your dream?
get married, have a family. two kids. a simple house. send the children to college. then retire in the countryside. preferably in a farm. be a farmer.
virgin ka pa ba?
"secret. ikaw?"
"secret din."
"ilang taon ka ng nawala virginity mo?"
"ayokong sagutin yan."
define love.
he laughed.
"ikaw talaga. mapagbiro ka."
"seryoso ako ha."
&&&&&&&&&&&
then we talked some more. as he kept on drinking, he kept on getting closer to me that i could almost taste his cigarette and beer breath. kiss his lips.
&&&&&&&&&&&&
at around midnight, i said goodbye.
my friend the sailor was surprised. he was used to seeing me drinking until the wee hours of the next day. i insisted on paying my beer (i consumed one) but my long lost friend wouldn't take it. he said i used to treat him and his friends before when he was jobless and penniless. so it's my turn now, he said.
when i was about to leave the bar, he whispered.
"ayaw mo ba kay c?" my friend asked.
"inaantok na ako eh."
"sige ipapahatid kita kay c may dalang motorsiklo yan."
"wag na."
then my friend asked c to take me home.
despite my vehement refusal, c insisted.
"baka mapano ka pa sa daan. gabi na."
my turn to laugh.
"you sound just like my father."
"tama naman sya di ba?"
"kaya mo pa ba mag-drive? lasing ka na yata eh."
"hindi ako nalalasing."
&&&&&&&&&&&
so i climbed in his motorbike and wore his helmet.
sensing that i was barely holding unto his stomach, he held my hands together.
"kumapit kang mabuti baka mahulog ka. wag kang mahiya at mag-alala. gentleman ako. wala akong gagawin na ayaw mo."
i could smell perfume, beer and cigarettes on him. a very lethal combination.
&&&&&&&&&&&&
there we were. two lonely souls navigating manille's dangerous streets, under a dark, moonless sky, quietly sharing a ride in his one-year old motorbike that his father gave him after he graduated from the police academy. i leaned closer to him, held him tighter.
"ganyan nga," he said. "para safe."
&&&&&&&&&&&&
i felt more than safe that night.
that's all!
happy halloween!
but tonight, there was no party. there were no people dressed in halloween costumes.
in fact, there were very few people prowling the streets. there wasn't even any moon. it was a sad, lonely and depressing sight.
the once bohemian place full of artists (thriving and starving, it doesn't matter. they co-exist peacefully and happily), active and out-of-work theatre actors, published and rejected writers, poets, journalists, party animals, dreamers, carpetbaggers, is now abandoned, dilapidated, desolate. i wanted to cry as i terribly missed those glory days of youth when i hopped from one bar to another, made out with beautiful strangers, danced drunk either on the streets or in the bars. friends with everyone.
those were the days. i lamented for their passing, like a widow crying over her lover who perished at the sea one thunderous night never to be seen again. some said he had been bewitched, enchanted and then taken away by sea nymphs and mermaids.
&&&&&&&&&&
anyway, as i entered my old hunting place, a long lost friend called me. he looked familiar but for the life of me, i could not remember his name. after shaking hands, i finally found the courage to ask him (in a whisper so his friends won't hear us) his name. i told him i am poor with names. ano ka ba, he said. i am xxxxx. i used to sleep in your apartment in makati.
flushed, i managed to say, talaga? so he is now a seaman (no pun intended) and is currently in manille for a short visit. he works for a cruise ship that has brought him to europe, united states of obama, the middle east and around asia. he even showed me some photos on his ipad and iphone. (while he was showing me his photos, i started remembering him. how he looked like before. his performance. haha).
&&&&&&&&&&&&
he has not changed much, except that he gained a little weight and his used to be thick hair has been cropped military style. he still looks good for a thirty-something guy, married with two kids.
but i was interested with one of his friends. c. a cop. a new graduate from the police academy. this after he finished a four-year criminology course.
c is only twenty-two. tall, lean, brown. he has this serene, handsome face, very unlike a cop. while talking to him, i remembered takeshi kaneshiro's lovelorn rookie cop still in love with his ex girlfriend in wong kar wai's classic chungking express shown in nineteen ninety four. c has the same innocent, naive look. everything seemed fresh and interesting to him, like a little boy who just got inside a candy shop and then lost himself in the process.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
after a few pleasantries and introduction, i started grilling the shy and quiet c, while my old friend the sailor was busy entertaining his two other friends with his adventures in the sea.
why did you become a cop? aren't the police notorious for being corrupt and with ugly, huge belly? i thought he would be annoyed by my questions, but he took them kindly. he even welcomed them.
he said it has always been his dream to become a policeman. his father is a retired cop. while he is aware about the negative image of the policemen in the country, it did not stop him from fulfilling his childhood dream. anyway, he said he intends to tread the straight and narrow path.
"simple lang naman ang gusto ko," he said. "wala akong masyadong bisyo. hindi ako mahilig sa malaking bahay at kotse. itong cellphone ko luma na. walang dahilan para mangutong ako di ba. saka pinalaki kami ng maayos ng tatay ko ng hindi sya nangungurakot. nakatira kami sa isang iskwater, maliit ang bahay namin. nag trabaho ako para makapag-aral."
hmmm. just wait a few more years, i thought.
are you married? this he laughed. as if i tickled him.
"mukha ba akong may asawa?" my friend the sailor added: "binatang-binata yan. walang girlfriend. wala pang karanasan."
"baka boyfriend?" i asked.
they all laughed.
"walang magkagusto eh," c said. seriously.
why not? i thought. are the ladies blind?
as if reading my mind, c added: "maliit lang kasi ang sweldo ko eh. kaya ayoko pa magka-girlfriend. baka mapasubo pa ako. hindi ko pa kaya bumuhay ng pamilya."
"akala ko kung ano ang maliit," i said in jest.
"ikaw talaga!"then he added blushing: "malaki ito."
my turn to blush. chos!
i continued my interview.
what's your dream?
get married, have a family. two kids. a simple house. send the children to college. then retire in the countryside. preferably in a farm. be a farmer.
virgin ka pa ba?
"secret. ikaw?"
"secret din."
"ilang taon ka ng nawala virginity mo?"
"ayokong sagutin yan."
define love.
he laughed.
"ikaw talaga. mapagbiro ka."
"seryoso ako ha."
&&&&&&&&&&&
then we talked some more. as he kept on drinking, he kept on getting closer to me that i could almost taste his cigarette and beer breath. kiss his lips.
&&&&&&&&&&&&
at around midnight, i said goodbye.
my friend the sailor was surprised. he was used to seeing me drinking until the wee hours of the next day. i insisted on paying my beer (i consumed one) but my long lost friend wouldn't take it. he said i used to treat him and his friends before when he was jobless and penniless. so it's my turn now, he said.
when i was about to leave the bar, he whispered.
"ayaw mo ba kay c?" my friend asked.
"inaantok na ako eh."
"sige ipapahatid kita kay c may dalang motorsiklo yan."
"wag na."
then my friend asked c to take me home.
despite my vehement refusal, c insisted.
"baka mapano ka pa sa daan. gabi na."
my turn to laugh.
"you sound just like my father."
(i've told him a little about my retired military father, who was very strict and a tough disciplinarian when we were all growing up.)
"tama naman sya di ba?"
"kaya mo pa ba mag-drive? lasing ka na yata eh."
"hindi ako nalalasing."
&&&&&&&&&&&
so i climbed in his motorbike and wore his helmet.
sensing that i was barely holding unto his stomach, he held my hands together.
"kumapit kang mabuti baka mahulog ka. wag kang mahiya at mag-alala. gentleman ako. wala akong gagawin na ayaw mo."
i could smell perfume, beer and cigarettes on him. a very lethal combination.
&&&&&&&&&&&&
there we were. two lonely souls navigating manille's dangerous streets, under a dark, moonless sky, quietly sharing a ride in his one-year old motorbike that his father gave him after he graduated from the police academy. i leaned closer to him, held him tighter.
"ganyan nga," he said. "para safe."
&&&&&&&&&&&&
i felt more than safe that night.
that's all!
happy halloween!
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