the divinity of a youthful spirit

outside, it was dark even if it was only two in the afternoon. the wind was howling, like a lonely, lonesome dog in the deep of the night longing for the love of his life. trees swayed as though being shaken by an unseen giant, who, like the dog, is also looking for his long lost lover.

inside, it was quiet. even if the windows and the only door were shut, you could still feel the pounding of the wind and of the rain, as though they were trying to get inside like robbers at night.

there were nine tables, but only two were occupied. one belonged to a couple in their twenty's, huddled at a far corner near the bar, bit dark, and a safe distance from everyone so no one would hear what they were whispering about on their ears, or what they were doing under the checkered cloth that covered their round table. the girl was wearing a floral dress, deep v-neck to reveal a plump, smooth as a baby's breasts (just a part of them, i must say) and the boy was in a black, tight-fitting shirt, the better way to show off those muscles earned from slaving in the gym, and dark, though faded jeans. between them were a flower on a vase and two cups, and i presumed, filled or hall-full of coffee. mostly untouched and ignored for they only have their eyes, hands and mouths on each other. poor coffee cups.

(admittedly, i was envious of how they looked at each other. it has been a long time since somebody looked at me that way, as though i was the only person on earth and everyone else didn't matter. ah young love! i was envious of the girl too because the boy was quite a looker, sexy in his black shirt and tight-fitting pants that i presumed would reveal quite a bulge if he stood up.)

then there were the two of us, middle-aged, wrinkled fairies, in long-sleeve shirts, mine folded up to the elbows, wearing city shorts and casual shoes as though it was still summer. we just had lunch at a nearby japanese restaurant, but since it was raining, we decided to have dessert and coffee at this restaurant, an old, two-storey house converted into a restaurant famous for its filipino and spanish cuisines, as well as for its delectable cakes and other sweet goodies.

trying to ignore the gloomy weather and the reddening faces of the two young lovers who seemed to have been held together by magic, we talked about our past lovers. we were both single at present, though my friend, round-faced, with nary a wrinkle, thinning hair,  had lovers on the side. his eyes sparkled like pearls when he was talking about his latest conquest, a twenty year-old varsity (basketball) at a university famous for its tall, gorgeous, modelisque basketball team.

"he's just so young and sweet and eager to please," he says in between sips of our steaming coffee, whose pleasant smell has filled the room.

i just looked at him. amazed at how he was able to find a young lover at his age. i mean, he must be, what, in his forty's? i had nothing else to contribute. i am single for a few years now, and had no lover at the side to speak of. unlike in my younger years. so i just listened, playing the role of a supportive best friend to a hilt, the cherrie gil (no relations to enrique, but she is the sister of the late great actor mark) to his sharon cuneta. oh dear, am i revealing how ancient we are?!

"last night we had dinner at our favourite restaurant in quezon city. you know, the one famous for its dinuguan and grilled chicken?"

i nodded my head. i knew the restaurant. we always go there every time we wanted to pig out. or we were craving for authentic filipino food. in the philippines! don't laugh now. i wanted him to continue. the dreary weather was making me sleepy and i was hoping his story would jolt me.

(here is a secret, fairies and witches: when gays talk, even if it was serious, like somebody died, there's always a punch line that will make everyone laugh. it's not being discourteous. it's just how we are wired. we always find something funny in every situation. maybe that's our way of coping up with our sad, sad lives, lovers notwithstanding.)

"after dinner, he asked if i wanted him to sleep with me at my house. i said no!"

i smiled.

"he was so disappointed. he said he was looking forward to spending a night with me because he has a lot of milk reserved for me. that he has not done it for days already."

he paused for dramatic effect. sipped his coffee again. i did the same, though i poured more milk. then stirred it, with the cup near my face, enjoying its aroma.

i waited for the punchline with bated breath.

"so there. i said no to a horny, gorgeous young man! am i beautiful or not?!"

then we both laughed. a bit louder i suppose because i noticed the waiters, bored and sleepy, and the two young lovers suddenly looking at us. i didn't mind.

"now you hold the record of being the most beautiful among us," i say, putting down my cup of coffee on the table where two slices of desserts (the sinful chocolate cake and tiramizu) were still waiting to be devoured.

then he reminded me about an incident more than ten years ago, when i was still in a long distance relationship. when i told them (him and another friend) that my then lover would jack off by looking at my one by one, black and white photo every time  he missed me so much. that story always crept up on our conversations and it never failed to make us all laugh. they would always say: "ang ganda-ganda mo!! one by one na black and white photo pinag-nanasaan nya!" i would join in the chorus of laughers. of course. all in the spirit of fun.

"tinalo mo na ang one by one, black and white photo ko sa ganda mo. ikaw na ang bagong reyna ng kagandahan. ang haba-haba ng buhok mo, mula quezon city hanggang cavite. gusto kong gupitin at kulutin!!!"

we continued laughing, still loud, still disturbing, and the waiters were now gathered around us, like children listening (or eavesdropping) to our conversation. having their fill of the funny anecdotes in our lives, our way of cheering up the gloomy weather outside, and of the sometimes dreary episodes in our pink but sometimes dark blue lives.

that's all!