of first love & other demons (an interview with mahatma gandah)

the elusive and reclusive yet apologetic mahatma gandah, who recently published the bestselling book – & man falls -- dubbed by the new york times as the “best debut ever”, relented finally on our request for an exclusive interview at an undisclosed location.

since the publication of her debut novel two months ago, mahatma gandha had never been seen in public, even at her favourite coffee shop near the famous for its gorgeous sunset manila bay. despite (or maybe because of) her absence, the book has already sold seventeen million copies, making it the fastest selling debut novel in history.

anyway, without much ado, here’s mahatma gandah, who popularised the use of “chos” and “no chos this time” on her blog….

what's your perfect day?

waking up to the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and newly-baked banana chocolate chip bread. then be able to read quietly, without interruption. then write later on when the urge hits me.

who is your perfect reader?

someone who reads from cover to cover, and then goes back again from the start because he can't get enough of my elegant prose. no chos this time.

what is the last thing you read that made you laugh out loud?

my mother’s text message last night. she wants me home by ten.

what books are currently on your bedside table?

i don’t have a bed. i sleep on the floor. does that count? anyway, one is the bloomberg way, no kidding, because i am reviewing for a written examination for an international financial publication based in london; when the world was steady by claire messaud (her first novel); incendiary by chris cleave (a very funny, yet poignant read); and, the stranger’s child by alan hollinghurst. 

yes, they’re all by british authors, except the bloomberg way which was by editor-in-chief matthew winkler. matt’s not british is he?

i’m planning to read more filipino authors. i enjoyed syjuco’s debut, ilustrado, although it was a mix-match of different influences such as junot diaz.

what book changed your life?

can i mention two? gabriel garcia marquez’s one hundred years of solitude. that inspired me to write.  john kennedy toole’s a confederacy of the dunces. it’s sad that the book was published several years after mr. toole’s suicide, which was made even more tragic because he won the pulitzer. clearly, the world does not recognise genius until it bites him.

when did you know you were going to be a writer?

when i was accepted and appointed features editor of our high school publication. i heard it was tough getting in because of the numerous difficult written exams and series of interviews, but on my first try, i got accepted and even became an editor. it was quite a feat, actually, and a lot of people shunned me after that. chos!

what is your daily writing routine?

unfortunately, i don’t have one. i hate routines. they bore me and they make me dumb! routines make people dumb, boring and predictable. i always prefer the unstructured life. surprise me please at every corner.

where do you write best?

in my room, lying down. on the futon. at anytime of the day when the urge is too strong that i would go mad if i ignore it. like the sexual urge. i prefer when it’s very, very quiet, by the way (to write and have sex!). i can’t write and reach an orgasm when there’s a bit of noise around, even if it's my favourite jazz music.

what do you snack on while you write?

nothing. when i am writing, i don’t feel famished at all even if i’m on it for hours. that’s why 

i am very skinny!

which literary character most resembles you?

hmmmm….countess ellen olenska in edith wharton’s the age of innocence. like her, i can give everything up for love. even my own happiness. i am also quite stubborn and unconventional. i hate traditions.

i love scorsese's film adaptation, by the way. i have probably seen it a million times and i fall in love each time. everything is perfect -- costumes, cinematography, acting, looks, houses, locations. the dialogues are divine.

who would you most like to sit next to at a dinner party?

the multi-tasking goddess gwyneth paltrow so we can talk about her diet, outfit, passion, books and that web site. she’s my soul mate.

what keeps you awake at night?

insomnia……….. and oh, where to get the money to buy the latest jason wu designs on the runway. his dresses are so adorable and very feminine.

when were you happiest?

when i was thirteen inside the military camp where we (i and my siblings) grew up. that was the time when i had my first crush, a military officer who just graduated from the military academy in baguio. he was lean, tall, tan, with cropped hair and hairy legs, dimples, masculine yet gentle voice. very handsome and athletic. oh he has magician's eyes, they're hypnotic. you can get lost and even drown in them. 

every time i saw him, i had these mixed emotions and feelings that my young mind could not explain nor fathom. i felt all sweaty, nervous, conscious, scared, but blissful. he was courting my beautiful older sister then. sadly, before they got married, he died in a combat training at the then fort bonifacio. i cried too when i heard the news, but did not tell anyone about it. until now.

when do you feel most free?

in my dreams. and when i am writing.

what would you change about yourself?

i wish i were less paranoid and not oc (obsessive-compulsive) at all. i mean, i arrange my books, cds, dvds in alphabetical order, and my magazines by title and date. and i dust them off at least twice a month. it’s just too darn tiring. but i can't help it. i have to do it.

what does it mean to be a writer?

to have this huge ego to believe that what you think, believe in, write and talk about is important and must be read, or tweeted, or talked about. i hate that.