a rare sense of peace

August 24, 2013

mind you, i am not religious though i love the pageantry, costumes, drama of a catholic ceremony be it a wedding, a fiesta, the lent, the palm sunday. i also love staying inside old churches when there is no mass going on, drinking up the sense of bliss, savoring the rare peace and quiet that one can only find in an empty church.
i love the scent of candles and incense burning, as well as staring at images of christ, the virgin mary, and all the other saints. my favourites will always be the images of the blessed virgin mary, the christ in the cross, the sto. nino and our mother of perpetual help. their still, steady gaze never fail to calm me down, as if reminding me that whatever happens, they have my back. that i can always count on them to be there for me. it's such a nice feeling -- knowing you are not alone.
there is nothing like being inside the church and just be still, communicating silently with the gods and later on, with yourself.
i also love the sound of the ringing bells. they remind me of my childhood when we used to live inside a military camp, especially during christmas time. my sisters and i used to be awakened by church bells at dawn, reminding everyone to attend the early morning mass, the nine day novena before christmas. those were happy times. seeing friends inside the church quite early in the morning dressed in sweaters and jackets, and then later on lining up for free breakfast: hot coffee or chocolate, pandesal, suman, bibingka and other local delicacies courtesy of military wives. sometimes, there would even be boiled eggs to go with the bread. how lovely! how thoughtful!
the sound of bells also became part of our sunday rituals. mass inside the military camp was always at nine in the morning. so around half before nine, the church bells would be ringing incessantly, like a lover reciting poetry to his beloved. in fact, we looked forward to sundays because they allowed us to wear nice clothes and shoes (other than christmas), and then enjoy a sumptuous lunch and merienda after that.

@@@@@@@@@

in those innocent days, aside from the sto. nino chapel (with its circular shape and where the priest stays at the center just like the greenbelt chapel) inside the military camp, my favourite churches were the san bartholomew church and the our lady of the rosary in my hometown in catbalogan. i had fond memories of these churches -- sweet, innocent and tender -- including praying for my crush that he would somehow not discover that i always looked forward to seeing him everyday in class.

@@@@@@@@@

too, during summer and school breaks of my childhood, i used to accompany my mother when she heard mass or just pay her annual visits to the churches in quiapo, baclaran, sta clara in quezon city, our lady of piat in her home town in cagayan north, the grotto somewhere in lagro, among others. i had fond memories of enduring the summer heat inside the churches, fanning myself using mother's abaniko, and sitting quietly beside her, while she was praying her novenas to her favourite saints. i used to love seeing her in her church costume -- a nice dress, a veil and a rosary in hand.
after that, she would treat me to dirty ice cream or cotton candy just outside of the church. when she was in a really good mood, she would buy me balloons.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

in college, the campus chapel inside the university of san carlos in cebu became my sanctuary. i was there almost everyday merely to study because it was so quiet there, and then to ogle at those mestizo seminarians and young priests, who were very friendly. then next to it was the church along p. del rosario street, walking distance from the university as well as from the all boys' dormitory where i was staying then.

if i had a bigger problem and needed to ask for a bigger favour from above, i would go all the way to the sto nino shrine, fifteen minutes by jeepney from the dorm.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

(when i was living in makati, along valero street, the small chapel at the basement of the pci bank tower along makati avenue became my favourite hiding place. it's very peaceful there, though quite cold because of the aircon. once you are inside, you will feel as though you are far away from the noise, craziness and pressures of the business district. i would go there every time the stress at work was too much, or if i wanted to say thanks for something, or if i just wanted to be alone and lost.)

&&&&&&&&&&&

later on, when i was older, i stopped going to mass. i never lost my faith though. i just turned spiritual, not religious.
but i still love going to church. if not to pray (but i always say thank you), just to sit and watch people pray, light candles, kneel in front of the altar, do the sign of the cross. it's comforting, seeing how despite the ugly realities that surround us, the evil that is everywhere, we still manage to keep our faith. there is, indeed, comfort in the familiar. in traditions.

&&&&&&&&&&&&

anyway, before you ask me what's the point to all of these, i just want to share some photographs that i (or someone else like a kind stranger who happened to be just passing by) took of churches and saints using my camera that i lost a few months ago. sigh.